Really Happy

Good morning, God.

It's been a while, and it's gonna be hard, but I'm gonna just try to have a civil conversation without obsessing about *someone* today.

I've had a pretty darn good week. I spend day after day with people I love so much. And I'm happy. Just about every day, after work, I head downtown to hang out with Lucy. And we're almost always joined by Trip and Chris. And sometimes Rhett and/or Krow. And more.
And it's great. I mean...I actually have to force myself not to go out one or two days a week, just so I don't completely wear myself out. I never thought that would happen...but it did. And I love it.

And weekends...oy, weekends. Fridays I spend the afternoon with one or more friends, spend the evening with a group, and then the group comes back to my house. And we have fun. Good clean honest fun. Just a bunch of morons hanging out and having a damn good time. Saturdays, the group tends to split up and do their own thing, but I almost always end up with a houseful again Saturday night. So Sunday, when I'm working, there are people running around my house, waiting for me to get off work so we can hang out one last time 'fore everyone has to part ways.

It's so weird for me to think that this is my life...to realize that...I got what I wanted.
This is exactly what I was looking for when I decided to pick up and move. I wanted this change. I wanted these people and this group and this life. These late nights and these weekends.

I've always had friends I've been close to. I still have friends from around the country that I love more than my own life. And I miss them more than I could ever put into words.
But this change...this life...this group... This is exactly what I wanted. This is where I fit.

This is my family now. These are the people I love more than my own life. These people...they are my world. This is the group I'm with every day. These are the people I'm with 24/7. This is where I belong.
I always knew that I'd regret not coming, had I chosen not to. But now...now I see just how much I would have been missing. And..."I'd regret not coming" suddenly isn't strong enough. Suddenly, I realize that...not coming would have been the biggest mistake I could have possibly made.

I've never been a part of a group where any one of us would do anything for anyone. Period. No questions asked. Not even a second thought. It would be reflex. Don't get me wrong...I've always had friends I'd do anything for...but I've tended to be part of groups where each person has this level they'd do for everyone else, and it differed from person to person. Not here.
I don't doubt that they'd do exactly the same thing to protect me that they'd do for the people they grew up with. Because...that's how these guys are.

Every day, I hold these people. Every day, I wrap my arms around them and tell them over and over how much I love them. On a regular basis, I let them know that this move - and more specifically, them - is the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

I'm SO GLAD I did this. I'm so immensely grateful I made this move. I'm so happy that you booted me out the door back home so that I could come down here and form this life.

This decision...this move...is the best thing I've ever done for myself. And putting me into the position where this option was a reality...that's the greatest gift I've ever been given.

Thank you.

Reflections

Hi, God.

I've been thinking...how funny things work out. How...just when I think I've hit the end of my rope and can go no further, things turn around.
Two weeks ago, I was miserable. I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted my life back. I had chased my dream, and it wasn't what I wanted. And then...*poof* here come friends. First the fair. Then this past weekend. And suddenly...I have more people to see than I know what to do with. Granted, I feel a bit like a taxi service, as well, but at least I'm not spending my time alone.
And...the amount of times people have told me how cool I am is astounding. I'm not trying to be pretentious or proud...but it means a lot to hear that from people. A lot.

So... Thanks. Thank you for pushing me out the door back in Connecticut. Thank you for the last year before I left there - so that I can appreciate this year. Thank you for giving me a chance to concentrate on me instead of on everyone else around me. Thank you for bringing friends into my life now - at the perfect time - so that I was fully ready for them and ready to appreciate them.

And...tonight...sitting at the eclipse, surrounded by these new people to love...
Thank you.